Attack of the Plot Bunnies
by Samantha Godchild
Summary: various story that pop into my head from time to time, ranma one half is the main focus of most if not all of them, rated M just to be safe.
1. Im a WHAT?

_**Jusenkyo Effect**_

**Disclaimer:i don't own Ranma one half or mass effect or any other comic,manga,anime,video game or TV series, characters/media in any way, shape or form. This is the only time I will say this for this.**

"Speech", "_**Panda signs", **__Thoughts_

**Author Notes: this idea popped in to my head while reading Wild Effect by Largo**

**Edit June 2010 this was edited due to a few e-mails and a response saying it was too short...**

**Prologue:I'm a WHAT?**

Most of you are familiar with how this starts out father and son go to Jusenkyo and get cursed well here is where it changes from what your familiar with...

As Ranma's body was submerged in the cool water of the spring his father turned panda kicked him in to he knew something was wrong, his hair did not move like normal in fact it felt as if he was bald he moved his hand to the top of his head and conformed he was now bald, colors shifted slightly becoming a little more vibrant followed by a headache worse than the time his father tossed him off a cliff when he was seven.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

The pandafied saotome landed beside the Guide staring at his hands turned paws for a few moments before looking to the Guide seeking a explanation as to why he was no longer human.

Seeing the elder saotomes reaction to being cursed being somewhat typical of people who fall into one of the cursed springs he began to explain the curse."Honored customer fall in Shonmaonīchuan, spring of drowned panda, very tragic story of panda who drown in spring two thousand year ago one of more than one hundred cursed spring here, now you is cursed to be panda when cold water touch you, there short time cure through hot water is no permanent though"

In what would pass for a pandas expression horror he turned to the spring his son fell in to imagining what manner of creature his son would become and praying to his ancestors that it would not be a cat.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Disoriented his lungs burning for air. Ranma swam to the surface and took great gasps or air panting a little. Having seen what happened to his father he started to pat him self down, his eyes grew in fright when his hands fell onto his or should I say her chest, terrified she reached down in to her pants to find to her growing horror little Ranma was missing.

The Guide seeing her surface began to explain about the spring Ranma fell in to "Honored young customer fall in Chuankiyentzulanyailaifhunyu, spring of drowned blue alien woman, very tragic story of blue alien woman drown here over three thousand year ago, you is fall in spring now you take body of blue alien woman's,"

Ranma stiffened for a few seconds before letting out a ear piercing shriek of horror and fear that could be heard for miles.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Later

Ranma having been shaken out of his shock and his father are in the Guide's hut in there birth form's being told of the things the curses do other than the transformation "Curses attract water to bearer like magnet, good if go through desert but mostly at bad time, also some curses change mind too some is instant is like two people in one body others slow and take many years to change mind, others no change mind like spring of drowned panda or spring of drowned girl no know about spring of drowned blue alien woman tho, honored young customer is first to fall in since spring cursed"

"Is there any cure?" asked Genma it would not do for his son to turn into a woman much less one that was not human _what would happen if Nodoka found out? _He shivered at that thought

"If is it not known to me" replied the Guide " But there village near here it have long history and much knowledge of springs they many know cure, village not far from here, this one take you there"

"Then what r' we waitin' for lets get goin' "replied Ranma from the doorway with his pack over his shoulder

"Yes lets get moving" Said Genma standing up from his chair grabbing his pack and heading after his son

**XXXXXXXXXX**

almost six hours and one freak rain storm later they approached the village in there cursed forms with the Guide, its gates open revealing the inside of the amazonian village "oh sirs we is lucky they is having tournament to chose village champion is great honor" said the Guide watching a bulky body builder looking woman fighting a lithe and busty young purple haired girl

Genma-Panda glanced at the fight before ignoring it _Bah, just little girls playing warrior_ looking of to the side he noticed a table with food on it lumbering toward it the ever present Saotome hunger deciding his next course of action, Eat

"Hmm." said Ranma following Genma to the table while keeping her eyes on the fight while eating with just as much fever as her father

The fight ended a few moments later the purple haired girl the victor she she made a slow three hundred sixty degree turn thrusting her fists in the air as the crowed cheered she had a smile on her face till she noticed the blue woman and a panda eating her victory feast at witch point she leaps of the challenge log to land a few feet from the two screaming in cantonese at the bald blue woman who dared eat her feast

The Guide noticing there great blunder ran over and hastily translated for the japanese duo "She say she Shampoo she village champion, she say you eat her feast she want to know what give you right to be eating champion victory feast and say you bring great shame on honored sirs self taking what no is yours"

Swallowing a piece of food that was in her mouth Ranma said "then she wont have a problem' bout it if I became the champion would she?"

The Guide translated the response and Shampoo barked out a short angry reply before jumping onto the challenge log witch the guide translated "she say she accept honored sirs challenge"

Genma panda held up a sign that read _**"Go get her**_,_** show her a" **_Flip_** "anything goes martial artist" **_Flip_** "is not to be taken lightly" **_

Ranma stood up and told her father "yeah, yeah pops im goin' shesh" wiping food from her mouth she leaped onto the log to face her opponent a cocky smirk on her face

Shampoo glared at her opponent _This Jusenkyo cursed tart is not taking me seriously! _Angry and tired shampoo charged hoping to end the fight quickly

Ranma stood there rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet all the time the smirk never left her face even as her opponent lost her cool and charged her starting with a feint to her ribcage on the right but over extended on her follow through punch directed at her head _sloppy_ ranma thought as she ducked under the punch, grabbed Shampoos wrist and planted her foot in her stomach flipping shampoo off the challenge log

Ranma hopped of the log to land by her opponent "I win" she said cockily as shampoo stood up and walked toward her when shampoo was before her she began to get a little nervous when she grabbed her face and kissed her cheek she was stunned, just then a short old lady with long white hair wearing a green outfit stepped forwarded "you have been given the kiss of death outsider surrender now and die or be hunted down and killed like a frightened rabbit running from a lion"

Ranma would have made a cocky comment but never got the chance as her father in human form with a tea kettle on hand snuck up behind the old woman and knocked her out "lets get out of here!" he shouted as he grabbed Ranma and the Guide and fled the village of stunned woman warriors.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Later

in the center of the village there was a large clearing with six seats in a crescent moon formation facing a carved stone dais in five chairs sat five of the most powerful and wise women of the tribe and on the dais were two people, the old woman and shampoo faced the council heads bowed to answer questions about the events of hours past"Xian' puu' were you defeated by a outsider?" asked one "yes" was the reply "was the outsider female?"asked another "yes"was again the answer "Was this defeat seen by more than two people?" asked the third "yes" "Did you give the outsider the 'kiss of death' as demanded by out law?" asked the fourth "yes" "Are you going to uphold our laws by hunting down and killing this outsider?" asked the fifth "Yes" "then step down and prepare for the hunt you leave in the hour, may the Goddess watch over you" said the first"As the council wishes and law demands so shall I do, Goddess be praised" said shampoo as she stepped of the dais

"Kuu' Lon' I never thought id be asking this of you, but were you defeated by an outsider?" asked the first "yes" was Kuu' Lon's terse reply, chuckling the second asked"Was the outsider male?" "Yes" "was this defeat seen by more than two people?" asked the third "Yes" "You are aware your marriage made you immune to the marriage laws regarding male outsiders?" asked the fourth "Yes" "how ever as you were widowed more than twenty years ago the laws of our tribe state you must once again held to the marriage laws and hunt down this outsider to make him your husband, do you intend to fulfill the laws and your duty to the tribe by bringing back the male who defeated you and bring his blood and knowledge into the tribe?" said the fifth Kuu' Lon's grip on her gnarled wooden staff tightened causing it to groan "Yes" she said through girding teeth "then step down Kuu' Lon' sixth member of the council and prepare for the hunt, since your husband and Xian Puu's prey left together they most likely are traveling together you leave with your great grand daughter in the hour, may the Goddess watch over you" said the first "As the council wishes and law demands so shall I do, Goddess be praised" Grumbled Kuu' Lon' as she stepped down and headed for her hut to prepare for soon she and Xian puu would hunt one for a outsiders hand in marriage the other for the death of a outsider

_**END**_

**Authors End Notes:Edited due to some whiny emails saying it needed more work I have made it longer , fixed a few grammatical errors and fleshed it out a little more{Woot 1800+ Words}**


	2. Power Spike

_**Ranma: The Iron Maiden **_

**Authors Notes: Ranma set just after the battle of **_**Jusendo**_ **and Ironman is set after the first movie with some stuff from the Ironman 2 game (iv yet to see the second movie)**

**Additional notes: edited / expanded Jusenkyo Effect(Chapter one) **

**Edited 6-30-10 fixed grammar errors, jumbled sentences and other errors in both story's  
**

"Speech", **_"Panda sign"_, **_Thoughts, _**_Computer Display,_**_"Computer/AI Talking"_

**Prologue:Power Spike**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**3:43 pm**

In the Bayankala Mountain Range of the Qinghai Province in China a Great battle was taking place a mortal of great power was fighting a Demigod almost through ascending to Godhood the process disrupted by the mortal needless to say the mortal was not fairing to well, the mortal is one Ranma Saotome of the anything goes school of martial arts and and the demigod is known as Saffron, Phoenix God of the Phoenix tribe of Mount Ho'o

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Ranma was in trouble the ground was mostly molten or ice covered and ever since grabbing hold of the Gekkaja he began feeling weaker and across his body he felt a tingle like what usually accompanies the activation of his curse but there was no change maybe it was the cold radiated by the Gekkaja maybe it was just his imagination either way it was damn distracting things were looking desperate he had tried every thing he knew and yet nothing seemed to even so much as scratch saffron since an hour ago and he was running low on ki he did not even have enough left to make a effective soul of ice for a hiryu shoten ha or any of the many variants he thought up in the last thirty minuets

_I need to disarm him of the __Kinjakan__ maybe if I use them both I can finish this _thought Ranma as dogged another fire ball the size of a bus thrown at him by Saffron using the concussive force of the blast as it exploded on the ground to propel him higher into the air and closer to Saffron when he got close enough Ranma jabbed at Saffron with the Gekkaja saffron seeing the mortals _Pathetic_ attack and seeing a opening thrust the Kinjakan at Ranma's chest at the last moment Ranma dogged the attack and thrust the Gekkaja crescent blade into the hoop shaped blade of the Kinjakan locking the two bladed staffs together then using the momentum behind him and with the aid of gravity he wrenched the Kinjakan from Saffrons grip.

Gripping the shaft of the Kinjakan to try to free the blades of each other and as he pulled there was a loud boom liken to a thunderclap and he went rigged as there power flowed through him and was released in the form of a great tornado covering the whole of the Bayankala Mountain Range in its turbulent winds

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**3:52 pm**

While the battle raged on atop the mountain a strange green craft was descending from the heavens as it passed over the mountain the tornado erupted destroying a good portion of the ship and sending it of its south easterly course setting it west toward the desserts of the middle east where it crashed creating a fiery explosion that was only seen by one person.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Raza was in a state of despair and fear as he ran across the dessert his men were dead, his camp destroyed and Stain had taken the armor there was nothing left to do but run and hope the would not hunt him down he tripped after cresting a dune and fell rolling down the other side getting to his knees he turned hos face to the sky "Ala why have you forsaken me!" he cried "if you have some greater purpose for me then give me a sign" just then a fiery mass streaked across the sky illuminating the dessert before crashing to the ground not far from him getting to his feet he ran as fast as he could toward the crash site.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

in the remains of the ship a clawed hand reached desperately for 10 glowing crystals the owner of said hand was a dragon of great power however with all his considerable power he was still dieing it should be no surprise seeing as his lower half was severed from him and most of his upper half was crushed beneath parts of the ship it was here surrounded by fire and metal the great dragon Shang Shong Shwoom drew his last breath the crystals the could save him just out of his reach his death activating a distress signal

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**4:50 pm**

As Raza approached the crashed ship he was in awe if its size it was almost half the size of a city even with most of it being strewn behind it for miles in the dessert he noted a soft green glow coming from a specific part of the ship and went to investigate

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**4:15 pm**

Back on the mountain Ranma felt the power coursed through him and activated his curse as the powers mixed causing him now her great pain, the Kinjakan and Gekkaja became a ball a white ball of light that was absorbed in to Ranma forming a lightly glowing circle in the center of the upper portion of her chest

Saffron was disoriented the tornado had caught him and was slamming him upon the mountain and pelting him with random debris _how is this possible! No mortal has this kind of power! I am a God this cant be happening! _He ranted in his mind as yet another boulder hit him

The winds came to an abrupt halt soon after the energy sphere was absorbed into Ranma causing both combatants to fall from the sky Ranma landing on her feet the new power coursing through her giving her renewed strength and Saffron landing on his back unable to right him self fast enough before rising to his feet and launching another large fireball at Ranma

Ranma gathered the new energy and forced it into a attack, liken to a continues stream of light directed at the fireball to her surprise it punches a hole through it obliterating it and slammed in to Saffron ripping him into hundreds of pieces that turned into a pile of ash that in turn became a perfect golden egg the size of a watermelon

Ranma stood there for a second in awe of the power she now had before remembering what the fight was all about in the first place and reaching into her shirt finding ht dehydrated Akane still there she ran for the taps since the keys were no more Ranma had to rip the dragon tap loose to bathe Akane in its healing waters and returning her body to normal

Ranma first noticed something was wrong when Akane failed to open her eyes checking for a pulse she failed to find one panicking Ranma shook her screaming at her "Akane no you cant die on me! you stupid tomboy wake up! I love you, Damn it Akane don't die on me I love you!"

It was all for naught tho for on this day Akane Tendo died in the arms of her fiance and love Ranma

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**Undisclosed A.I.M. Base in China** **4:16 pm**

"Ma'am we have a massive energy reading in the Qinghai province it spiked a few moments ago but its leveled off" Said one of the A.I.M. Sensor officers "What type of power is it?" asked the Commander of the base "no idea ma'am but it most closely resembles the type that the Stark Industries Ark reactor emitted a few weeks back when it blew" "Get me that location"said the commander "Yes ma'am" was the sensor officers reply

turning to one of the com officers she said "get me teams one, three and eight on the line" "your on ma'am" stated the com officer "prep for deployment your being sent investigate a possible Stark lab expect resistance" "Ma'am yes ma'am" responded the three team leaders almost in unison _And here I thought this would be just another boring assignment _thought the commander as she left the room for her office

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**Stark's house Malibu** **4:18 pm**

"_Sir im getting energy readings that closely match Stark Industries Ark reactor technology in the Bayankala mountain range of china"_ Said JARVIS the artificial intelligence and Starks greatest achievement that ran all the automated systems in starks cliff top mansion " are you sure Jarvis?"asked one Anthony Stark genius inventor and superhero otherwise known as Ironman _"Quite certain sir I ran the scans twice and cross referenced it with all known naturally occurring electrical phenomenon there is a 87.9 percent probability that it is a ark reactor and a 63.2 percent probability that it is a weapon using ark reactor technology"_ "Well we cant have that, notify S.H.I.E.L.D and download all relevant data to the Mark five armor and prepare it for use" said stark as he sat down the newspaper he was reading and his cup of coffee _"I thought you'd say that sir and have already prepare your armor and forwarded relevant data to S.H.I.E.L.D."_ "Good then lets go"

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**One mile south south east from Jusendo two miles from Jusenkyo 6:23 pm **

The Nerima group and the two Chinese amazons were somberly making there way toward Jusenkyo when they were setuppon by the A.I.M. teams armed with pulse laser's surrounding"Sir the redhead is emitting the energy readings we have been tracking " said one of them holding up a complicated looking device that was aimed at Ranma to another person that the group could not see that is until he stepped through the A.I.M group that surrounded them and spoke "surrender the redhead and you wont be harmed" he said waring the typical yellow hazmat suit of the members of A.I.M but with a red stripe going from the top of the helmet to the belt of the suit where it veered of slightly to go down his right leg down to his boots

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**END**

**Authors end notes: felt like a good place to end it it is after just the prologue**


End file.
